Winter Wonderland
by WolfButler
Summary: Just another little story about Artemis's childhood! A Christmas one though! :D


**Disclaimer:-Eoin Colfer owns all the characters!!**

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_**Winter Wonderland**_

Artemis woke up earlier than usual and went downstairs to get a cup of tea. Actually, he was going downstairs to get Butler to make him a cup of tea. After his last attempt at making one, his parents, when they found out accidently while the Major was reviewing the manor's security tapes, had banned him from even_ touching _the kettle.

"...are you married? We'll say no man!! But you can do the job when you're in towowowown!!"  
Butler and Juliet were dancing around the kitchen with wooden spoons, whilst making the Fowl's breakfast and singing along to the radio. Badly.  
"Butler you don't really want to marry Juliet do you?"  
Butler nearly jumped out of his skin, freezing with the wooden spoon in mid-air.  
"Jings Master Artemis!! You nearly gave me heart attack!!"  
Jings, or Jeez, was the closest Artemis ever got hearing Butler swear. He was working on it, but his bodyguard never cursed no matter what the situation. Well, at least not in front of his young charge. Juliet giggled and went back to making breakfast.  
"Was there anything you particularly wanted?"  
"A cup of tea please," Artemis said following Butler as he headed for the kettle. "You haven't answered my question yet."  
"What question, Artemis? Tea Jules?" Butler asked, his sister nodded and he absent mindedly poured the right amount of milk and spooning sugar into 3 cups.  
"Do you really want to marry Juliet?"  
"What?! Why would I want to do that? She's my sister, Artemis!!"  
"Well you were singing it."  
"Oh... right. It's a song Artemis. It's called...what's it called again Jules?"  
"Winter Wonderland I think."  
"And anyway Artemis, we've been over this. You two are my family, I don't need to marry. And nor do I ever want to." He added quickly, shuddering as he thought of all the extra responsibility and expectations he would have to deal with if he did. Don't, he told himself.  
"Oh... right." Said Artemis. Problem solved, he moved onto his next query. "Butler, do you think that it'll snow this year?"  
"Maybe." Butler said recovering from the shock of being asked if he wanted to marry his own _sister_ and handing out tea.  
Artemis was six years old and already he owned two computers and a laptop which he used to avidly follow the latest scientific discoveries and also the weather. He was always hoping that there would be snow up to Butler's knees one Christmas, but it was far fetched hope. His knees were a long way up to a snowflake, as Butler himself put it every time there was a disappointment.  
This year though, Artemis was hopeful. There had been no rain, but some frost, which meant the snow would stick.  
"You see," he explained to his ever patient employees, over his teacup "all the variables are there, we simply need a good snowstorm!!" The two youngest Butlers in the household nodded encouragingly. Then again they had been trained to nod encouragingly at any of their employer's ideas.

"Have you written you're Christmas list to Father Christmas yet, Arty dear?" Mrs Fowl asked.  
"I don't know what to ask for Mother." Artemis Junior said.  
"Ask for snow." Juliet suggested.  
"Honestly, girl!! Don't encourage him!!" The Major said looking up from his paper.  
"Now, now, Major!! Get into the Christmas spirit!!" Mrs Fowl scolded.  
"Sorry M'am." The Major said, "Didn't wish to get the young master's hopes up."  
"You need to be more positive!!" Mrs .Fowl persisted.  
"But it may not even _sleet_."  
"There is nothing wrong with being a Snow Wisher." Mrs Fowl said.  
"It might snow." Artemis added.  
"Perhaps not in time for this Christmas, young sir."  
"It's three days until Christmas everyone!!" Butler said, entering the room, oblivious of the argument.  
"That's plenty of time!! It might snow yet, Uncle" Juliet said. The Major threw his hands up in the air in defeat.

Artemis was finally happy with the fifth version of his letter.

Dear Father Christmas,

I am writing to tell you that this year I would not like a sort of present you can rapp wrap up like for example a new silver laptop with wireless connection.  
I don't know whether you can get this or if you could ask The Weather Man or Jack Frost for it instead.  
Plese Please could you get me some snow for Christmas this year. If possibul possible I would like enuff enough snow to reach my Bodyguard's nee's knees. I think you will know who I mean when I say Butler.  
Thank-you very much for reading my letter.  
Yours sinserly Sincerely,

Artemis Fowl The Second

Artemis also insisted that Butler and Juliet did letters to Father Christmas to ask for snow. Juliet said she was writing one anyway so she would ask for snow instead of her other presents. Butler raised his eyebrow at the suggestion but decided it would be easier to do as Artemis said than not to. So, fervently hoping that his uncle would not find out, he wrote:

To Santa,  
Artemis has asked me to ask you for snow this Christmas. Please do your best, or the trifle might end up on my head when he has a tantrum.  
Thanks,  
Butler ****

Juliet's read :

Dear Mr. Santa Clause,

I was just wondering whether you could get some snow organised for me and Arty this Christmas. Please could you because it would make us very very very happy. My brother is 7 meters 7 feets _very_ tall but we would like the snow to be up to his knees please if you can. I would also very much like to prove my Uncle Major wrong because he says it will not snow. (I am even NOT asking for the new Wrestle Mania Series or even a new wrestler action figure for my collection because I am asking for snow instead.) Me and Artymus have been extremely good this year espeshially expessially just so we could get _some _snow (or even enough to get up to my brother's knees.)  
Thanks you  
Love  
Juliet Butler (the first and one and only)  
xxx

The letters sent the day before, the milk, mince pie and carrot set out, Artemis and Juliet headed up to bed excitedly. Butler tucked Juliet in her room after saying goodnight to Artemis and leaving Mrs Fowl to put him to bed.  
"Dom," Juliet whispered, knowing that he said it was ok for her to call him by his nickname "But only if we are alone, in a separate room and away from any nosey Fowl ears." Juliet had giggled at the thought of the Fowls having extra noses sprouting from where their ears should be.  
"Yes, Jules" said Butler, smiling a little at her.  
"Might it snow tomorrow? Really snow?"  
"I don't know. But, hey, we've done the best we can; now it's up to the snow to appear!! Now go to sleep, or Santa won't come!!"  
"G'Night Dom." She yawned sleepily.  
"Night Jules" he said turning her light off and closing the door. "Oh, and no getting up before six OK?" he said, coming back in.  
"Awww come on Dom it's Christmas!!" Juliet said sitting up.  
"Half five then. But no earlier OK?" he relented, pushing her back down into the pillows.  
"OK then" she said snuggling back down .  
"I should have asked Santa for a lie in for Chrismas" Butler groaned shaking his head. She giggled and closed her eyes.  
"Sleep Tight." Her big brother whispered, ruffling her hair and then closing the door.

Juliet was asleep before Butler reached the bottom of the stairs. A good thing too or she might have got up again to see what was going on.  
"What's this I hear about a Christmas letter."  
Butler started and used some language that Artemis had been desperate to make him use in front of him.  
"Less of the swearing man!! Pull yourself together!! Playing about with the children!! You're going soft!!" his Uncle ranted."Christmas letters for Christ's sake!! And you are supposed to be the record holder for the youngest graduate!!" he said, referring to Butler being the youngest ever person to get a Blue Diamond Tattoo. It was impossible to get one any younger actually as Butler had passed on his 18th Birthday. "I am disappointed with you. Are you even listening Domovoi Butler?"  
Butler who had been doing what he usually did when he was being reprimanded, which was staring at a point close enough for his Uncle to think that he was looking at him without actually having to, jumped to attention at the sound of his name.  
"Sorry Uncle." Butler said, thinking that he was anything but sorry. Although he let Juliet call him Dom (or even Dommy the dummy when he was in a good mood and she wasn't)he did not like his Uncle using his full name. Especially not loudly. He needn't have worried, there was no-one within two floors of them, but still.  
"I thought you would have grown out of writing Christmas Letters by now." He continued, not letting the subject drop.  
"It was an order actually." Butler muttered, losing his temper. "I was only doing my job."  
"Well could you please act more maturely in future!! And stop putting ideas into the children's heads!! Feet of snow, indeed!! We'll be lucky to get a few flakes" The Major said exasperatedly.  
Butler nodded, even though actually it had been Artemis's idea for the snow not his. He was seriously hoping now that there would be a good four foot of snow never mind his knees, even if he would have to shift it off the front drive later.  
"Good Night."  
"Good Night, Uncle." Butler answered, venting his anger by pulling faces at his uncle's receeding back as he marched off upstairs. Butler waited a minuet to make sure he didn't catch up to his Uncle and then headed up to bed.

"Psst!! Butler!! Wake up!!" Juliet hissed. Butler kept his eyes closed. Hoping that she would go away. No such luck. She straddled him like a rodeo rider and began more and more strange tactics such at blowing in his ears and pulling his eyelids to make him get up. Hang on, Butler thought if she had called him "Butler" that meant that...  
"Butler, I want you to get up." Artemis's voice came from somewhere near the bottom of his bed.  
"Yeah get up Butler!! It's Christmas Day!!" Juliet said excitedly smacking him on the forehead.  
"Ouch bu... um, Jules!! That hurt!!" Butler said sitting up. He congratulated himself on his quick thinking. The word he had been about to say, ending in "gger" would probably have classed as swearing. Yes, he thought, that was why Artemis looked a bit disappointed.  
"Juliet!! It's 5:28!!"  
"It says 30 on my clock."  
Butler sighed. There was no point in arguing with her, she almost always won.  
"All right, all right already I'm up!!" Butler said struggling upright.  
"Can we open our presents? Pleeeeeeeeease?" they begged together.  
"We should wait for your parents, Artemis." Butler said.  
"Our stockings then?"  
"All right!! I give in!! Go and get them, but be quiet OK?"  
The pair squealed and ran off to get them. So much for being quiet.

A minuet they were back.  
"Who's first?" Juliet asked.  
"Should we go alphabetically or age?" Artemis added, knowing perfectly well that either way, he would get to go first.  
"Open one at the same time," Butler suggested to avoid any arguments.  
Half an hour later Juliet and Artemis were playing with their new presents. Artemis had got a mini dictionary, Juliet, two mini wrestlers. There was loads more too including an apple, orange and a few chocolates each.  
"Where's yours Butler?" Artemis asked.  
"Perhaps I wasn't good enough this year" Butler suggested, tipping his stocking upside-down.  
"Poor you," Juliet said, and then "Hey what's that!!" as a piece of paper fluttered to the floor from Butlers stocking.  
"A note" Butler said, puzzled. It hadn't been there the other day.  
"Read it, read it!!" they pestered him excitedly.  
"OK. It says :"

Dear Artemis, Juliet and Butler,

Look Outside!!

"Who's it from?" Juliet asked as she and Artemis ran to the window.  
"Doesn't say." Butler said pulling back the curtains for his young charge. Wow. Thought Butler as Juliet and Artemis screamed happily and started dancing around the room.

The trio made their way quietly downstairs to the cloak-room. Butler had insisted that they at least put on a coat over their pyjamas before going out. Then the moment of truth, he heaved the door open. Well, if it hadn't opened inward they would have been snowed in.  
"Wow." He said again softly.  
"Wow, wow,wow."Artemis and Juliet copied, sounding like excited puppies.  
"Carefull!!" Butler exclaimed as the pair tried to walk over the top of the snow and sunk. He waded into the snow after them.  
"It's past your knees!!" They squealed, making a song out of the words. Butler smiled, the cold seeping through his pyjama bottoms into his thighs. Artemis and Juliet were almost had to _tunnel_ through the snow.  
"One snowman, then in. OK? It's a bit cold, we can come out later when we're dressed properly."  
The children were to happy to argue and started to roll snowballs. Butler had to help them with the making and lifting but it was Artemis that did the face with coal and Juliet donated a hat she had found inside and fetched a carrot from the kitchen. Then he was finished. The little "family" stood back to admire their handiwork.  
"He's really, really good!!" Artemis said, shivering.  
"He's _amazing_!!" Juliet agreed through chattering teeth.  
"Come on you two. In." Butler said firmly. It would not go down well with the others if the pair caught pneumonia.

And that was why, when The Major woke at eight and the Fowl couple at half eight, three dressing-gowned shapes were huddled together, sleeping on the sofa in front of a roaring hearth. Mrs Fowl insisted on a picture because they all looked "so cute". The "click-flash!!" woke Butler who sat up hurriedly, dislodging the two warm bundles who were laid across his chest, one each side.  
"Sorry, sir." He said to Mr Fowl, the photographer, cursing himself for falling asleep.  
"Don't worry Butler," Mr Fowl said smiling. Butler almost raised his eyebrows, the Christmas Spirit must have rubbed off on the normally rather frosty Mr Fowl.  
"Mother!! Father!!" Artemis said running to hug his parents "It snowed!! It really snowed!!"  
"It has Uncle!!" Juliet said dragging him to the window and cheering triumphantly. Butler smiled as his Uncle scowled at being proved wrong. He didn't stay in a bad mood for long though. Butler had bought him a car set including a steering wheel cover and a gun holster that doubled up/ was disguised as a tissue dispenser that attached to the overhead sunshield. Juliet did get the Wrestle Mania Series and Artemis a silver laptop with wireless connection. Mr and Mrs Fowl exchanged thier presents, embracing and exclaiming how it was "just what they had wanted". Finally, Butler went to open his last present.  
"It's from me and Artemis." Juliet explained.  
"We used our own pocket money" Artemis added.  
Butler looked at them and undid the clumsily wrapped paper carefully. Inside was something wrapped in bubble-wrap. He peeled it off smiling. It was a snow globe. He shook it gently and a flurry of snow covered the miniature Polar Bear inside.  
"Do you like it?" They asked, both watching his expression anxiously.  
"No." He said bluntly.  
Their faces fell.  
"I love it!!" he smiled hugging them tightly, not caring what his Uncle would say about being professional. He had pretty much smashed the "No emotional Bonds" rule to smithereens today. The "No unnecessary physical or emotional contact" rule wasn't exactly intact either. But Madame Ko was wrong, Butler thought to himself. You could be stiff and formal with your principle, like his Uncle, but really, having feelings for your charge only increased a bodyguard's determination to protect them at all cost. Butler knew then, that he would always protect Artemis as he would Juliet, as a big brother, as well as a bodyguard.

In a few weeks, the snow was gone. Two weeks later and all that remained of the snowman was a hat, carrot, some coal and some photographs. The memories of that Christmas would stay forever though, especially in the heads of three particular snow wishers.

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**Just another story about Artemis's childhood!!  
Hope you liked it!! :D**


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